On August 1st we made the very tough decision to put down our beloved dog, Toby. He was 13, and my first pet I had owned from pup to old age. I enjoyed many years with him, and I still miss him. He was smart, he was loyal, and he was a protector of our family. It was really hard to see him age, and I admit I was not the most patient owner during his last few months. As he declined, it became more difficult for all of us, him included, but I could not find it in my heart to let him go. He would pass out if he ran, he started losing control of his bowels, but the final straw was his struggling to walk and being unable to shake water off of himself.
I cried all day that first of of August. Hannah had to comfort me. I was a complete wreck. I stayed in bed. I recounted every way I had failed him.
A few days later, a friend reminded me that I gave him 13 years of a great life, and that is a long life for a dog. I held on to that until it the pain in my chest did not feel so overwhelming. I made myself remember his greatness, how he loved me even when I was not the best owner.
On August 4th, unbeknownst to me, Amber was born. While she was solely reliant on her mother, I could not wrap my mind around owning another pet. Ever. As the weeks went by, my family's grief lessened and I adjusted to being petless, accepting that as my permanent state. Ironically, I combed puppies for sale, the exact same breed and color as Toby, as if simply looking eased the pain a little.
Lo and behold, both my husband and daughter started taking about getting another dog. I vetoed each request for a couple of weeks or so, but my resolve started weakening and I agreed to look at puppies, but I made no promises.
I met Amber on around September 20th. It was not love at first sight. In fact, I gravitated immediately to a puppy with a similar personality to Toby. But, that pup was not meant to be ours. Looking back, it is a good thing. Amber was the pup Ted liked? Hannah wanted a girl dog. I relented. Although I went into this with reluctance, it disappeared, and Amber snuggled up to me in the car on the way home.
That first night was hard. She was neither housebroken nor crate trained, so sleep was near impossible. At one point in the night, I looked into her puppy eyes and "saw" Toby. My grief returned briefly, a reminder that Amber will never replace Toby.
And she does not. She is the complete opposite of him. His bravery to her timidity. His high energy to her cuddling. His obedience to her stubborn streak. But, she is a great pet. She is her own being.
Someday I hope I can reflect on my years with Toby without tears (half this blog was written whilst I cried from missing him so much).
RIP Toby. I still love and miss you very much.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
15 Rules I Learned in an Elementary School Classroom.
7:15am came too quickly the morning before St. Patrick's Day. I got out of bed, showered, dressed, and hollared at Hannah to do the same. I threw together breakfast (a pop tart), brewed my caffeine, made our lunches, and realized I needed to run to the store for a green snack. We were ready in record time, I grabbed my pop tart, cooler with our lunches, the kid and headed out at 8:00am. We got pears and green grapes. Dashed to school, stopped at her locker, removed our shoes and replaced them with slippers, and scurried to class where I dropped our cooler off with the rest of the lunches and wandered in. A big sign saying "NO Pinching" greeted us, and the teacher's assistant who was subbing for the teacher said "Anyone caught pinching will be sent to Ms. Nancy's."
Rule 1. No pinching.
Then, we were turned around and sent back to Hannah's locker as we needed to put our shoes back on. PE was first. Upon arriving back to the class, we sat in circle time. "Uh uh, CJ, you two cannot sit together" the teacher's assistant told CJ and his friend.
Rule 2. CJ and friend cannot sit together.
We went over our schedule for the day. It seemed easy enough. PE was first. We lined up. "Hey Ms. Dore, are you going to be at the end of the line?" Um, yes?
Rule 3. Teacher or assistant must be at the back of the line.
To the back of the line I went, and we were off to the gym. The kids played a game called clean your room, and it is basically running lines. Anyone who has played basketball or tennis knows all about running lines. "Ms. Kathy, the other team cheated!" "Ms. Kathy, I did NOT cheat!" Ms. Kathy has the patience of a saint. Me? I checked my watch. "Dang, not even a half hour had passed," I thought.
The kids were then left in my care to run laps and have free play on the playground while Ms. Kathy prepped for the St. Patrick's celebration. I wanted to try out my surgically repaired ankle, so I decided to jog with the kids. Yeah, that went really well. Not only was I completely out of breath, my ankle was not happy about it.
Free play consisted of the kids splitting into groups to do their own thing. The girls split off into 2 groups. One sat around and talked. The other wandered around, not playing at all. My child was in neither group. She was in one of the boys' two groups. One group of boys spent their time rolling down a small hill. The other enjoyed being chased by Hannah, being caught, and thrown in "jail." During the game, Hannah whispered to me "Mom, we're not supposed to climb up the slide." I noticed CJ doing just that. "CJ, don't climb up the slide," I told him.
Rule 4. No climbing up the slide.
The game of Hannah chasing boys continued, Hannah caught Bryson and put him in "jail." She stayed and visited with him for a bit, then they both climbed the walls of "jail" and stood on top. I thought it would make a cute pic, so I took one. "Ms. Dore, we're not supposed to climb up there." Addy Mae said.
Rule 5. No climbing up to the top of the "jail."
Ms. Kathy returned to help me, and we chatted a bit about rules 4 and 5 because I didn't know of them. She said "oh, there's probably 100 playground rules, the kids know them."
Rule 6. There are 100 playground rules.
Rule 7. The kids know them and must follow or be banned from the playground.
Poor CJ. He was banned from the playground for the duration of free play because he had climbed up the slide. I've known CJ since he was in Kindergarten (he's in 3rd grade now), he's such a boy.
Time to line up and head back to class. The kids were very good about getting in line, and then I heard "Hey! You can't get out of line. If you do, you have to go to the back!" This came from a boy to a girl.
Rule 8. Anyone getting out of line must go to the back of the line and hang with Ms. Dore.
Off to class we went, it was time for a work cycle. The kids were to 1. work on DWLs, 2. work on math, 3. work on language, 4. finish other works for the week that had not yet been completed.
"Ms. Dore, what is this?"
"Um...wait a second, okay?" I had to ask Ms. Kathy exactly how I was supposed to help. With DWLs, because it's an assessment, I cannot really help. But what if the kid didn't even know what the question was? Which I saw a couple of kids did not know.
Rule 9. No giving much help on DWLs.
"Ms. Dore, what does this mean?" Round to the nearest tens.
"Do you know how to count by 10?"
Kid nods.
"Great, let's do it....10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 80, 90. Now, what is the closest of these to 88?
"90."
"Good!"
"But what about this one?" 62
"Let's count by 10s again. 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70. Now what is the closest of these to 62?"
"70."
"Write that down for now." Hmmm, how to explain to a 2nd grader if the number is below 65 you round back and if it's 65 and above you round up? Oh wait, Rule 9.
I continued my walking around and assisting as much as allowed under Rule 9. Then my daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, what is this?" Circle the subject and underline the complete predicate.
Oh God, how do I explain this to a third grader? And, Rule 9!!!
Needless to say, when the kids were able to move on to their other works and I actually could help, I felt much better...though it is still kind of hard to "dumb down" concepts to young children so they understand it. Teachers have that training, I don't.
I continued my perusal and came upon a few boys drawing in their notebooks. Now, considering I am more of an artsy person, I was intrigued to see what went on in these boys' minds. I stopped to look. "Ms. Dore, we're not supposed to be drawing right now," a little girl whispered to me.
Rule 10. Drawing is cultural studies. Not language or math. Therefore it should not be done during a work cycle.
"Hey there," I called softly to one of the little boys, not knowing his name, "we're supposed to be doing language and math." He paused. Looked up at me. Then resumed his drawing. I figured I'd give him a minute then I'd return to tell him to work on language or math.
"Hey CJ, no drawing." I told CJ with familiarity. At least CJ listened.
I returned to the other boy. "Remember, no drawing." He did not even acknowledge me this time. Ms. Kathy rang the bell and it was time to move on to the St. Patrick's Celebration.
While Ms. Kathy read a book to the children about St. Patrick's Day, I cut up the pears, washed grapes, cut up celery, and dumped some veggie crisps in to a green bowl. The combo was strange, but green snacks was what we were having. Before snacktime, though, the kids did a work that involved graphs and Lucky Charms. My ankle was aching by now, so I sat. And was grateful that three girls from Upper Elementary came in to help.
Then...it was snack time.
Rule 11. You may come up only once to the snack table, but you can put as much as you want on your plate.
Ugh. My ankle was really hurting, so I used my position as Temporary Teacher's Assistant to allow my daughter to break that rule and go up a second time to make me a plate of snacks.
The kids spent so much time at snack, that the craft started late, and when it was recess time, the kids voted on either staying in to do the craft or going out to play. Guess which won by a landslide? The kids had to clean up before leaving.
Lining up again, I was still in my spot with my foot up, but the kids weren't going anywhere. In fact, they were chattering about and appeared really ready to go out. I looked over at Ms. Kathy, wondering what was the holdup.
Rule 12. We do not go out to recess until EVERYTHING is put away.
There was a clipboard and pen still on a desk, and I so did not see it. The kids lost 15 minutes of recess time because they were too excited to bother with doing a thorough job.
Ms. Kathy knew I was aching, so she told me to stay in and relax. Which I did. I took in the Lucky Charms all over the floor, empty cereal boxes around the garbage can and not in it. I put my head down because I was so tired. And it was only 11:45. The SAHM in me wanted to clean up the Lucky Charms. I could not find one ounce of energy to get up and do it. I started thinking of ways to make the kids do it.
At 12:05 the kids trickled in. I was starving at this point. I finally got up, retrieved the cooler, set out lunch and began to eat.
"Ms. Dore, we're not supposed to eat yet."
Oops.
Rule 13. We give thanks first. To the animals and the vegetables that we are about to eat. And to Mother Earth.
I was a tired, ungrateful, and starving Pretend Teacher's Assistant.
It was a cute little thing that they do, I admit. But after having had a bite of my ham and cheese sandwich and a big swig of my fruit punch, I was dying for the energy I knew my lunch would provide. When we finally started to eat, I noticed Ms. Kathy wasn't eating, and I thought "I'm such a wimp." I was relieved, though, to see that she did eventually eat something.
"Ms. Dore, watch this!"
Morgan crossed her eyes. Aside from kids showing me their wiggly teeth, anything odd with eyeballs really grosses me out. Guess what happened when I shielded my eyes from it and said "Ew!" ?
"Ms. Dore, watch this!" "Look!" "I promise I won't cross my eyes!" a boy said which was followed with rolling his eyes back.
Rule 14. Never show them your weakness.
Another round of clean up commenced, and I couldn't believe that there were only 20 minutes left of the day. Lunches were put away, the class pet Lizzy (Bearded Dragon) was fed her diet of live crickets, tables were wiped down. Now I see why teachers like short days...and why parents sometimes loathe them.
The day ended with another bit in circle time, this time all eyes were on me to share my experience with traveling to Australia.
"CJ...you know you're not supposed to..." Rule 2! Rule 2!
Rule 15. Keep any and all presentation to kids short, sweet, and fun.
Yeah, they didn't care that Aussies drove on the wrong side of the road, they didn't care that Australia has different electrical outlets. But they sure got a kick out of how much I disliked vegemite.
Hannah and I were the last to leave the room. With our cooler in hand and my other arm around my daughter, I walked out with a deep appreciation for Hannah's teacher. For the teacher's assistant. And for teachers everywhere who not only educate our children, but love them, too.
Rule 1. No pinching.
Then, we were turned around and sent back to Hannah's locker as we needed to put our shoes back on. PE was first. Upon arriving back to the class, we sat in circle time. "Uh uh, CJ, you two cannot sit together" the teacher's assistant told CJ and his friend.
Rule 2. CJ and friend cannot sit together.
We went over our schedule for the day. It seemed easy enough. PE was first. We lined up. "Hey Ms. Dore, are you going to be at the end of the line?" Um, yes?
Rule 3. Teacher or assistant must be at the back of the line.
To the back of the line I went, and we were off to the gym. The kids played a game called clean your room, and it is basically running lines. Anyone who has played basketball or tennis knows all about running lines. "Ms. Kathy, the other team cheated!" "Ms. Kathy, I did NOT cheat!" Ms. Kathy has the patience of a saint. Me? I checked my watch. "Dang, not even a half hour had passed," I thought.
The kids were then left in my care to run laps and have free play on the playground while Ms. Kathy prepped for the St. Patrick's celebration. I wanted to try out my surgically repaired ankle, so I decided to jog with the kids. Yeah, that went really well. Not only was I completely out of breath, my ankle was not happy about it.
Free play consisted of the kids splitting into groups to do their own thing. The girls split off into 2 groups. One sat around and talked. The other wandered around, not playing at all. My child was in neither group. She was in one of the boys' two groups. One group of boys spent their time rolling down a small hill. The other enjoyed being chased by Hannah, being caught, and thrown in "jail." During the game, Hannah whispered to me "Mom, we're not supposed to climb up the slide." I noticed CJ doing just that. "CJ, don't climb up the slide," I told him.
Rule 4. No climbing up the slide.
The game of Hannah chasing boys continued, Hannah caught Bryson and put him in "jail." She stayed and visited with him for a bit, then they both climbed the walls of "jail" and stood on top. I thought it would make a cute pic, so I took one. "Ms. Dore, we're not supposed to climb up there." Addy Mae said.
Rule 5. No climbing up to the top of the "jail."
Ms. Kathy returned to help me, and we chatted a bit about rules 4 and 5 because I didn't know of them. She said "oh, there's probably 100 playground rules, the kids know them."
Rule 6. There are 100 playground rules.
Rule 7. The kids know them and must follow or be banned from the playground.
Poor CJ. He was banned from the playground for the duration of free play because he had climbed up the slide. I've known CJ since he was in Kindergarten (he's in 3rd grade now), he's such a boy.
Time to line up and head back to class. The kids were very good about getting in line, and then I heard "Hey! You can't get out of line. If you do, you have to go to the back!" This came from a boy to a girl.
Rule 8. Anyone getting out of line must go to the back of the line and hang with Ms. Dore.
Off to class we went, it was time for a work cycle. The kids were to 1. work on DWLs, 2. work on math, 3. work on language, 4. finish other works for the week that had not yet been completed.
"Ms. Dore, what is this?"
"Um...wait a second, okay?" I had to ask Ms. Kathy exactly how I was supposed to help. With DWLs, because it's an assessment, I cannot really help. But what if the kid didn't even know what the question was? Which I saw a couple of kids did not know.
Rule 9. No giving much help on DWLs.
"Ms. Dore, what does this mean?" Round to the nearest tens.
"Do you know how to count by 10?"
Kid nods.
"Great, let's do it....10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 80, 90. Now, what is the closest of these to 88?
"90."
"Good!"
"But what about this one?" 62
"Let's count by 10s again. 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70. Now what is the closest of these to 62?"
"70."
"Write that down for now." Hmmm, how to explain to a 2nd grader if the number is below 65 you round back and if it's 65 and above you round up? Oh wait, Rule 9.
I continued my walking around and assisting as much as allowed under Rule 9. Then my daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, what is this?" Circle the subject and underline the complete predicate.
Oh God, how do I explain this to a third grader? And, Rule 9!!!
Needless to say, when the kids were able to move on to their other works and I actually could help, I felt much better...though it is still kind of hard to "dumb down" concepts to young children so they understand it. Teachers have that training, I don't.
I continued my perusal and came upon a few boys drawing in their notebooks. Now, considering I am more of an artsy person, I was intrigued to see what went on in these boys' minds. I stopped to look. "Ms. Dore, we're not supposed to be drawing right now," a little girl whispered to me.
Rule 10. Drawing is cultural studies. Not language or math. Therefore it should not be done during a work cycle.
"Hey there," I called softly to one of the little boys, not knowing his name, "we're supposed to be doing language and math." He paused. Looked up at me. Then resumed his drawing. I figured I'd give him a minute then I'd return to tell him to work on language or math.
"Hey CJ, no drawing." I told CJ with familiarity. At least CJ listened.
I returned to the other boy. "Remember, no drawing." He did not even acknowledge me this time. Ms. Kathy rang the bell and it was time to move on to the St. Patrick's Celebration.
While Ms. Kathy read a book to the children about St. Patrick's Day, I cut up the pears, washed grapes, cut up celery, and dumped some veggie crisps in to a green bowl. The combo was strange, but green snacks was what we were having. Before snacktime, though, the kids did a work that involved graphs and Lucky Charms. My ankle was aching by now, so I sat. And was grateful that three girls from Upper Elementary came in to help.
Then...it was snack time.
Rule 11. You may come up only once to the snack table, but you can put as much as you want on your plate.
Ugh. My ankle was really hurting, so I used my position as Temporary Teacher's Assistant to allow my daughter to break that rule and go up a second time to make me a plate of snacks.
The kids spent so much time at snack, that the craft started late, and when it was recess time, the kids voted on either staying in to do the craft or going out to play. Guess which won by a landslide? The kids had to clean up before leaving.
Lining up again, I was still in my spot with my foot up, but the kids weren't going anywhere. In fact, they were chattering about and appeared really ready to go out. I looked over at Ms. Kathy, wondering what was the holdup.
Rule 12. We do not go out to recess until EVERYTHING is put away.
There was a clipboard and pen still on a desk, and I so did not see it. The kids lost 15 minutes of recess time because they were too excited to bother with doing a thorough job.
Ms. Kathy knew I was aching, so she told me to stay in and relax. Which I did. I took in the Lucky Charms all over the floor, empty cereal boxes around the garbage can and not in it. I put my head down because I was so tired. And it was only 11:45. The SAHM in me wanted to clean up the Lucky Charms. I could not find one ounce of energy to get up and do it. I started thinking of ways to make the kids do it.
At 12:05 the kids trickled in. I was starving at this point. I finally got up, retrieved the cooler, set out lunch and began to eat.
"Ms. Dore, we're not supposed to eat yet."
Oops.
Rule 13. We give thanks first. To the animals and the vegetables that we are about to eat. And to Mother Earth.
I was a tired, ungrateful, and starving Pretend Teacher's Assistant.
It was a cute little thing that they do, I admit. But after having had a bite of my ham and cheese sandwich and a big swig of my fruit punch, I was dying for the energy I knew my lunch would provide. When we finally started to eat, I noticed Ms. Kathy wasn't eating, and I thought "I'm such a wimp." I was relieved, though, to see that she did eventually eat something.
"Ms. Dore, watch this!"
Morgan crossed her eyes. Aside from kids showing me their wiggly teeth, anything odd with eyeballs really grosses me out. Guess what happened when I shielded my eyes from it and said "Ew!" ?
"Ms. Dore, watch this!" "Look!" "I promise I won't cross my eyes!" a boy said which was followed with rolling his eyes back.
Rule 14. Never show them your weakness.
Another round of clean up commenced, and I couldn't believe that there were only 20 minutes left of the day. Lunches were put away, the class pet Lizzy (Bearded Dragon) was fed her diet of live crickets, tables were wiped down. Now I see why teachers like short days...and why parents sometimes loathe them.
The day ended with another bit in circle time, this time all eyes were on me to share my experience with traveling to Australia.
"CJ...you know you're not supposed to..." Rule 2! Rule 2!
Rule 15. Keep any and all presentation to kids short, sweet, and fun.
Yeah, they didn't care that Aussies drove on the wrong side of the road, they didn't care that Australia has different electrical outlets. But they sure got a kick out of how much I disliked vegemite.
Hannah and I were the last to leave the room. With our cooler in hand and my other arm around my daughter, I walked out with a deep appreciation for Hannah's teacher. For the teacher's assistant. And for teachers everywhere who not only educate our children, but love them, too.
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